Hey sweet friend,
I want to have an honest heart-to-heart with you. Not from a place of having it all figured out, but from the trenches—where healing is still happening and growth is ongoing.
This post is not about a magic number on the scale, a trendy diet plan, or a before-and-after transformation story. This is about the raw truths I’ve uncovered in my own relationship with weight—and how I’ve learned to release the shame, pressure, and obsession that surrounded it for far too long.
If you’ve ever felt like your weight defined your worth, if you’ve struggled with emotional eating, body image, or the pressure to “bounce back,” then pull up a chair. You’re not alone here.
The Weight of Shame
There was a time when my self-worth was deeply entangled with the number on the scale. Every gain felt like failure. Every loss felt like proof that maybe—just maybe—I was finally enough.
It was exhausting.
I’ve cried in dressing rooms. Skipped events because I hated how I looked. Punished my body with grueling workouts and starvation plans. Then turned around and numbed out with sugar, salt, or wine.
Sound familiar?
That’s not living. That’s surviving in a shame spiral.
What I’ve come to realize is this:
Weight isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, spiritual, and often deeply rooted in unmet needs, trauma, or self-protection.
Emotional Eating Is Real (and So Common)
So many of us eat not out of hunger, but out of habit, boredom, anxiety, or the desperate need to feel something other than what we’re feeling.
Here’s what emotional eating often looks like:
- Rewarding ourselves with food
- Eating in secret
- Feeling out of control around certain foods
- Craving comfort through carbs, sweets, or salty snacks
- Feeling guilt, shame, or regret after eating
I’ve experienced all of it.
But food was never the problem. It was the symptom.
What I really needed was:
- Rest
- Boundaries
- Healing conversations
- A deeper connection with the Divine
- Time alone
- Joy that wasn’t tied to food
And when I started addressing those needs, the emotional eating began to loosen its grip.
My Body Was Never the Enemy
This was a hard one to accept.
But the more I tuned in, the more I realized: my body wasn’t betraying me. It was trying to protect me. It was speaking to me, constantly.
The fatigue, the bloating, the cravings, the pain—they were all messages, not malfunctions.
So I began asking different questions:
- What am I really hungry for?
- What emotion am I trying to avoid or numb?
- What would feel loving right now?
These questions don’t lead to instant weight loss. But they do lead to healing.
Diet Culture Is a Lie
We’ve been sold a lie that thinner = better, healthier, more lovable, more worthy.
It’s a lie that fuels billion-dollar industries while crushing souls in the process.
Here’s the truth:
- Health is not one-size-fits-all
- Weight loss is not always healthy
- Thinness does not equal happiness
- Your body does not need to be fixed
When I stopped chasing thinness and started chasing wellness, freedom followed.
Releasing the Weight (Physically and Emotionally)
I have released 50 pounds of extra weight—physically, yes. But more importantly, I released:
- The pressure to be perfect
- The obsession with numbers
- The self-hate and harsh criticism
- The belief that I had to earn my worth
And guess what? The more I loved and respected my body, the more it responded with healing. I began craving foods that nourished me. Movement became joyful, not punishing. Clothes fit better—but more importantly, I felt better.
Not because I was smaller. Because I was lighter.
What Helped Me Heal
Here are some of the tools, truths, and practices that supported my healing:
1. Therapeutic Journaling
Prompts like:
- What beliefs do I hold about my body that aren’t actually true?
- What do I want to feel when I eat?
- How has my body supported me through hard times?
2. Body Gratitude Practice
Each morning, I’d place my hands on my body and say:
“Thank you for carrying me. Thank you for not giving up on me. I promise to treat you with love today.”
3. Gentle Movement
Instead of pushing through, I asked: What kind of movement feels good today? Some days it was walking. Some days dancing. Some days stretching while crying. And all of it counted.
4. Rooting My Worth in Truth
Faith played a huge part. I began anchoring my worth in what the Divine Source says about me—not in what the world (or the mirror) said.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Right now. Not when you lose 20 pounds. Not when your jeans fit. Right now.
If You’re Struggling Right Now…
Let me wrap my arms around you and say this:
You are not broken. You are not lazy. You are not a failure.
You are carrying things that were never yours to hold. And it’s okay to lay them down.
Start small:
- Drink more water
- Move your body gently
- Eat a piece of fruit instead of skipping a meal
- Speak one kind word to your reflection
- Journal what you’re feeling instead of numbing it
These tiny acts of love will begin to ripple.
Let’s Redefine Success Together
Let’s stop measuring our worth by pants sizes, scale numbers, or comparison. Let’s define success as:
- Feeling energized
- Trusting our bodies
- Enjoying food without guilt
- Showing up with confidence
- Feeling at peace in our skin
You’re worthy of that.
Not someday. Not when it’s perfect. Today.
A Gentle Invitation
If this resonated, I’d love to invite you to share this post with a friend who might need to hear these words too.
You don’t have to walk this alone. And you don’t have to hate yourself into healing.
With so much love,
Jamie
Labor of Love for Birth & Beyond
