Surrendering Self-Hate

Posted on Posted in Self Development

Surrendering Self-Hate

by Jamie Sossamon


Do you look in the mirror and hate what you see?
Are you ashamed to go out in public, so you choose to miss out on fun times?

There was a time in my life where I hated going places, or even seeing people, and I have to admit, my life sucked like that! So if you can relate, I hope you can feel my virtual hug, because that life is hard.

I’m naturally an extrovert and an introvert at the same time. Sounds quirky, doesn’t it? But it’s true. I love people, enjoy conversation, but I also love staying home and just being with the ones I love most, and enjoy alone time. When I’m with a group of people, I can love every second of it and be myself while loving on others, then I need down time for about three days after because of the high it gave me. It’s crazy.

But, I used to wake up in the morning and literally tell myself in the mirror, “You’re disgusting!,” “You are so lazy!,” “Why don’t you just do something and lose this weight on you?,” “You make me sick!”

It literally would bog me down every. single. morning. when I woke up, and I could feel the effects of my self talk all day long.

That negativity really did a number on my brain! It caused my relationships around me to be strained, and even just functioning was hard on a daily basis.

I had to face those demons, so to speak, because I KNOW that’s not how my Father above would speak to me, so WHY was I speaking to myself like that?

I’m going to share with you what I did to overcome my self-hatred. I pray this helps you as you go through your journey to loving yourself more each day.

  • When you wake up, tell yourself out loud, “I love you and accept you as you are!”

Positive words, even done by yourself, to yourself, actually work. You may be shaking your head right now saying “yeah, right, Jamie!” but I urge you to start your day off with it. Try it out, and see if it makes a difference in the way you move throughout your day and how you feel about yourself. Words hold so much power! And speaking to yourself in a positive light, versus beating yourself up about all you’re not doing, will help. I promise. Declare it right now as you read this. Allow your mouth to speak it, and your brain to hear it!

  • Have faith in yourself.

You were created with love, uniqueness, and I believe you are wonderful just the way you are. Sure, you may have weight loss goals you’re wanting to achieve, or you have something on your heart that you want to do, and I applaud your goals and dreams! Some people just go through life aimlessly, but I know if you are here, that isn’t you. I want you to take a moment right now and write down some goals and dreams in increments of one month, six months, one year, and five years from now, on a piece of paper. Next, I’d like for you to come up with actionable steps listed below them, to get you there. Label the top of the page: “Vision of the Future Me.” You are worth feeling great, and experiencing love in everything you do. Have faith in even the baby steps that you take to get you there. Remember that each step you take in the right direction will add up, and before you know it, you’ll be rockin’ those goals!!

  • Tune out the noise.

There will be noisiness of people around you that just don’t get why you do what you do, or why you start something that you end up quitting. They’re going to tell you that you’ve failed 1,000 times before, why even try again? They may mock you, or laugh at you. They may not support you in any way, believe me, I have people in my life like that too! The thing is, YOU have to decide right now that you are going to do it, and turn them into cheerleaders versus critics. Say no to giving them the power to dictate your future. It can be so easy to tuck your tail, so to speak, and agree with them. But guess what? You don’t have to fail this time! Prove them wrong and just rock it, love! You’ve got this!

  • Apply yourself.

Now that you’ve written down your goals, and you’ve created actionable steps to get you there, I’d like for you to print it up, make it pretty, and then post it in random areas where you go in your home. I have mine by my refrigerator, above my desk, and in my bathroom by my medicine cabinet. I want to constantly remind myself of my goals, so when I’m about to make a choice with my food intake, or taking on another project, I have to refocus and look to my goals, and ask myself, “Is this supporting this goal I have for myself?” It can be eye-opening for you as you do this. You will dig deeper and grab that strength inside of you as you take on your healthy journey, or whatever it is that you are striving for. That strength is in there, you may have felt weak before, but doing this will allow you to see that, Yes! You can do hard things!

  • Surround yourself with hope, love and people who will uplift you.

It is so important to create an environment around yourself that will get you moving in the right direction, especially when you take a step back, or fall. Notice I said fall, not fail. Big difference. Listening to audios, reading motivational or inspirational books, stories, blogs, or even Facebook posts are going to boost your mentality. Seek out friendships that help you, instead of drag you down. I’m not saying delete friends because they weigh you down, but do set boundaries for yourself and know what that friend or even family member causes within you. Do they build you up? Do they constantly speak negativity? Are they supportive of your goals? Find people who have a passion towards life that rub off on you, and give you that desire to keep you going.

Save this to your phone for quick reference.

It is my ultimate hope that this little post helps to encourage you, and put you on the path to loving yourself. Choose to surrender the self-hate that literally LIES within your mind. It does not serve you or your life. I believe love exists within every person, and hate can’t exist when love takes over.

If you feel led to share some thoughts with me after reading this, I’d love to hear from you! Hop on over to my Facebook page and share how this touched you in some way, or better yet, tell me what action steps you’re going to take to get you heading in the right direction toward YOUR goals!! You could even send this to a friend who needs some encouragement today!

I believe in you!!

Positive Vibes & High Fives,


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